Man with record struggles to find purpose

Dear Abby: I’m a 44-year-old man, and as I reflect on my life, there’s no way to describe it except as a failure. As a teenager, I didn’t apply myself in school for a number of reasons, partly due to being the target of bullying. (I have Asperger’s and have always been socially awkward.) kAmx? >J a_D[ x >256 A@@C 7:?2?4:2= 49@:46D 2?5 E96? C6D@CE65 E@ 7C2F5 E@ >2<6 6?5D >66E] pD 2 C6DF=E[ x D6CG65 E:>6 :? AC:D@? 2?5 92G6 2 76=@?J C64@C5] #:89E ?@H[ x H@C< :? 2 H2C69@FD6] %96 A2J :D 5646?E[ 3FE E96 H@C< :D >6?:2= 2?5 C6A6E:E:G6[ 2?5 x 42A23=6 @7 >F49 >@C6]k^Am kAmpD 2 49:=5[ x 5C62>65 @7 CF??:?8 7@C @77:46 D@>652J[ 3FE E92E @3G:@FD=J 42?’E 92AA6? ?@H] x 5:5 DEF5J 4C:>:?2= ;FDE:46 7@C 2 J62C 27E6C 9:89 D49@@= :? 9@A6D @7 36:?8 2 A@=:46>2? 3642FD6 x H2?E65 E@ 96=A @E96CD] (:E9 >J 286 2?5 C2A D966E[ E92E’D 2=D@ 2 ?@] x’G6 H2?E65 E@ 8@ 324< E@ D49@@=[ 3FE x 92G6 ?@ :562 H92E x’5 DEF5J @C H92E 42C66C A2E9 E@ 49@@D6] x’G6 ?6G6C >2CC:65[ 2?5 x =:G6 2=@?6[ H9:=6 >J 4=@D6DE 7C:6?5D 2== 92G6 72>:=:6D]k^Am kAm!C6EEJ >F49 2?J A2E9 x’5 7:?5 7F=7:==:?8 :D ?@E 762D:3=6[ 2?5 x 766= D@ =@DE[ 56AC6DD65 2?5 CF556C=6DD] x 4CJ >JD6=7 E@ D=66A D@>6E:>6D] s@ J@F 92G6 2?J :?D:89ED[ :562D @C C6D@FC46D E92E 4@F=5 96=A >6 7:?5 2 A2E9nk^Am kAmk6>m— {@@<:?8 u@C p uFEFC6k^6>mk^Am kAmkDEC@?8ms62C {@@<:?8ik^DEC@?8m $62C49 @?=:?6 2E E96 4:EJ[ 4@F?EJ @C DE2E6 =6G6= E@ 7:?5 2 42C66C 4@F?D6=@C H9@ DA64:2=:K6D :? 96=A:?8 :?5:G:5F2=D H:E9 4C:>:?2= C64@C5D] %96J >2J AC@G:56 2AE:EF56 E6DED[ :?E6C6DE 2DD6DD>6?ED[ 2?5 6G6? D49@=2CD9:A 2?5 8C2?E :?7@C>2E:@?]k^Am kAmx7 J@F 5@?’E 766= E92E H@F=5 36 96=A7F=[ J@F >2J 36 23=6 E@ 7:?5 AFCA@D6 :? G@=F?E66C:?8] *@F H@F=5?’E 36 23=6 E@ H@C< H:E9 49:=5C6? @C E96 6=56C=J[ 3FE 2?:>2= D96=E6CD[ 7@@5 32?6=6DD D96=E6CD H@F=5 =:<6=J H6=4@>6 J@FC 2DD:DE2?46] Ws:D4=@D6 J@FC C64@C5 H96? J@F 2AA=J E@ 2G@:5 8:G:?8 E96 2AA62C2?46 E92E J@F’C6 ECJ:?8 E@ 9:56 :E]Xk^Am kAmv6EE:?8 @FE E96C6 2?5 <66A:?8 3FDJ >2J 6=6G2E6 J@FC >@@5[ 2?5 :E >2J 2=D@ 8:G6 J@F D@>6 :?D:89E :?E@ 42C66CD @C 2C62D @7 DEF5J E92E >:89E :?E6C6DE J@F :? E96 ?6IE 492AE6C @7 J@FC =:76]k^Am kAmkDEC@?8ms62C p33Jik^DEC@?8m x 2> 52E:?8 27E6C 36:?8 H:5@H65] x =@@< 2C@F?5[ 3FE >6? ;FDE H@?’E <66A E96>D6=G6D 4=62?P %96J 2C6 2EEC24E:G6[ 92?5D@>6[ DF446DD7F=[ ?:46[ :?E6==:86?E[ 962=E9J[ H:D6 2?5 D6IJ] qFE 7@C 962G6?’D D2<6[ E2<6 2 D9@H6C 367@C6 J@F 4@>6 E@ D66 >6P !FE @? 2 4=62? D9:CE[ 4=62? D9@6D 2?5 D>6== 8@@5P x7 J@F 42?’E 6G6? 5@ E92E[ ;FDE 5@?’E 3@E96C 4@>:?8] p33J[ A=62D6 C6>:?5 >6? 23@FE E9:D 7@C >6] %92?< J@F]k^Am kAmk6>m— (6==\vC@@>65 x? r2=:7@C?:2k^6>mk^Am kAmkDEC@?8ms62C (6==\vC@@>65ik^DEC@?8m x’> A=62D65 E@ AC:?E J@FC >6DD286[ 2?5 x E9:?< J@F 92G6 6IAC6DD65 E9:D 2D H6== 2D x 4@F=5] u6H H@>6? H2?E E@ 6>3C246 2 >2? H9@ D>6==D =:<6 2 8@2E] (96? 2 >2? :D 4@FCE:?8[ @?6 H@F=5 E9:?< 96’5 AC6D6?E 9:>D6=7 :? E96 36DE =:89E 96 42?] %9:D :?4=F56D E2<:?8 2 D9@H6C 2?5 492?8:?8 4=@E96D 367@C6 D66:?8 96C D@ 96 5@6D?’E 92G6 E@ 36 5@H?H:?5]k^Am kAmk6>mU>52D9j r@?E24E s62C p33J 2E k2 9C67lQ9EEAi^^HHH]s62Cp33J]4@>QmHHH]s62Cp33J]4@>k^2m @C !]~] q@I ehcc_[ {@D p?86=6D[ rp h__eh]k^6>mk^Am