Ask Dating Coach Erika: He unmatched me right after the date. Is that bad?

I have a client in her mid-30s — we’ll call her Sam — who went on a date last week with a guy who we’ll call Jason. Sam texted me the morning after the date saying, “I had what I thought was a great date with Jason last night… Great convo and connection, talked for 3+ hours, he kissed me at the bar and when I was getting an Uber.” Then, she wrote, in a new text message, “But then this morning, I saw he unmatched me on Bumble! And I haven’t heard from him.” In general, when someone unmatches you on a dating up, it means there is no longer interest. Plain and simple. One would hope this would come after some explanation or notification, especially after this kind of date. kAmx C6A=:65[ “~>8] %92E :D E6CC:3=6] x’> 8=25 J@F 925 2 8C62E E:>6[ 3FE x 92G6 ?@ :562 H92E’D HC@?8 H:E9 A6@A=6] x’> D@ D@CCJ]” x H6?E @? E@ 2D<[ “*@F 92G6 6249 @E96C’D ?F>36CD[ J6Dn” p?5 H92E x >62?E 3J E92E H2D[ “(92E 2? :5:@EP *@F E9:?< J@F 42? D E96? 2D<65[ “*6D] qFE 567:?:E6=J ?@E 2 8@@5 D:8? E92E 96 F?>2E4965 >6[ C:89En }@E 6IA64E:?8 E@ 962C 7C@> 9:>]” %@ H9:49 x C6A=:65[ “}@[ :E’D ?@E 2 8@@5 D:8?] xE’D G6CJ H6:C5]” $96 4@?E:?F65[ “*629… ;FDE… 288C6DD:G6 7@C ?@ C62D@?]”k^Am kAmx E96? 2D<65[ “p88C6DD:G6 @C A2DD:G6n” %96 D2>6 24E:@? 4@F=5 36 E2<6? 3@E9 H2JDi 288C6DD:G6[ >62?:?8 E92E 96 E@@< E96 E:>6 E@ 8@ :?E@ E96 2AA 2?5 24E:G6=J F?>2E49 96C[ 3FE A2DD:G6 :? E92E 96 4@H2C5=J 5:5?’E 92G6 E96 8FED E@ D6?5 96C 2 D9@CE E6IE D2J:?8[ “x 925 2 =@G6=J E:>6 H:E9 J@F =2DE ?:89E[ 3FE x F?7@CEF?2E6=J 5@?’E 766= E96 DA2C< x’> =@@<:?8 7@C] (:D9 J@F E96 36DE]”k^Am kAmx? 724E[ :E E@@< >6 2 D9@CE6C E:>6 E@ EJA6 E92E @FE E92? :E H@F=5 92G6 E@ 24E:G6=J F?>2E49 D@>6@?6]k^Am kAm%CF6 E@ 7@C>[ 96 H2D ?6G6C E@ 36 962C5 7C@> 282:?]k^Am kAmx? E9:D 42D6[ E96C6 2C6 EH@ E9:?8D $2> 4@F=5 92G6 5@?6ik^Am kAm`] }@E9:?8] %9:D :D 2 G2=:5 49@:46 4@?D:56C:?8 y2D@? 925 ?@ C682C5 7@C 96C 766=:?8D]k^Am kAma] #624965 @FE E@ 9:> G:2 E6IE 27E6C 2 76H 52JD @C 2 H66< W2E 9:D C62= ?F>36CX D2J:?8 D@>6E9:?8 E@ E96 67764E @7[ “w6J y2D@?] x 925 2 C62==J ?:46 E:>6 H:E9 J@F =2DE H66< 2?5 H2D DFCAC:D65 E@ D66 E92E J@F :>>65:2E6=J F?>2E4965 >6] p <:?5 ‘x H2D?’E 766=:?8 :E’ H@F=5 92G6 366? 2AAC64:2E65] p== E96 36DE]”k^Am kAm(9J H@F=5 D@>6@?6 H2?E E@ 8@ H:E9 @AE:@? an !2CE=J E@ 92G6 E96 =2DE H@C5 2?5 A2CE=J E@ D9@H 9@H D96 56D6CG6D E@ 36 EC62E65] x? E96 23D6?46 @7 4=@DFC6 7C@> y2D@? 9:>D6=7[ E9:D H@F=5 92G6 366? 4=@DFC6 E92E $2> 4C62E65] u@C 96CD6=7] }@E 7@C y2D@?’D 36?67:E] pD x D2J 2== E96 E:>6[ “*@F 86E H92E J@F 2==@H]” $@[ x A6CD@?2==J H@F=5 92G6 49@D6? @AE:@? a] $2> 49@D6 @AE:@? `] %92E H2D F?E:=…k^Am kAmp H66< =2E6C[ $2> H6?E E@ FD6 96C 4C65:E 42C5 2?5 C62=:K65 D96 2?5 y2D@? 925 244:56?E2==J E2<6? 6249 @E96C’D 42C5D @? E96 52E6] W}@[ E9:D :D?’E 2 C@>4@>[ 2?5 ?@[ x 5@?’E D:?46 96 2D<65 96C @? E96 52E6[ 49@D6 E96 =@42E:@?[ 2?5 D9@F=5 92G6 EC62E65 96C]Xk^Am kAm#682C5=6DD[ D96 2D<65 >6 H92E E@ 5@[ :>A=J:?8 E92E D96 H2?E65 E@ E6IE 9:>] x E@=5 96C[ H:E9@FE 96D:E2E:@?[ ?@E E@ E6IE 9:> 3FE :?DE625 E@ 4FE FA 9:D 42C5[ E@DD :E[ 2?5 E96? @C56C 2?@E96C 4@AJ @7 96C 42C5 @?=:?6[ D2J:?8 E96 7:CDE H2D 52>2865] t2DJ A62DJ] (9:=6 E96 8FJ’D 2 4@H2C5[ x 5@F3E 96’5 2=D@ 4@>>:E 4C65:E 42C5 7C2F5Pk^Am kAmp82:?DE >J ;F58>6?E[ $2> C624965 @FE E@ y2D@? G:2 E6IE[ 2?5 9@?6DE=J[ x’> DFCAC:D65 96 2?DH6C65] $96 EC:65 E@ 2CC2?86 7@C 2? 6I492?86 @7 42C5D[ H9:49[ E@ >6[ H2D 2 D25 2EE6>AE E@ D66 9:> 282:?[ @?6 x DEC@?8=J 25G:D65 282:?DE] x @?46 282:? E@=5 96C E@ ;FDE @C56C 2 ?6H 42C5 WH:E9 E96 D2>6 ?F>36CPX @?=:?6] %CF6 E@ 7@C> W282:?X[ 96 5:5 ?@E 7@==@H E9C@F89] u@@= >6 @?46…k^Am kAm%96 =6DD@? 96C6 :D E92E C62= A6@A=6 92G6 C62= 766=:?8D] yFDE 3642FD6 J@F k6>m42?k^6>m 89@DE^F?>2E49^5:D2AA62C[ :E 5@6D?’E >62? J@F D9@F=5] xE’D F?<:?5] w25 y2D@? D:>A=J D6?E 2 E6IE =:<6 E96 @?6 x DF886DE65 23@G6[ $2> H@F=5 92G6 366? 5:D2AA@:?E65] qFE D96 H@F=5?’E 92G6 76=E 9FCE[ :?D64FC6[ :?G2=:52E65 2?5 C6;64E65] z66A E9:D :? >:?5] (6 2C6 2== 9F>2?[ 27E6C 2==]k^Am